Forever and Almost Always
by meaganl124
Summary: Takumi has died in a tragic accident, and Hachi has just found out. When her worst nightmare comes true, and her world begins to crumble? Who will help her pick up the pieces? And how will her family remain intact? Will her children be torn apart? Will her friends step up to plate for her? (If you hate Takumi, read it, and if you like him, read it. It's a win-win). ;)
1. Denial

The phone was ringing off the hook. A few moments later, her own phone was ringing as well. Satsuki pointed, and answered the home phone while her mother picked up her cell phone.

"Hello?" they both asked.

"Nana?" a worried voice sounded.

She gasped, "Reira?"

There was a pause. "Yeah." She heard. "Something's happened." Something had happened in England or else she wouldn't have called.

"Is my son alright?"

"Yeah, he's with me."

"Wait, why is he with you?" Nana's eyes widened in surprise. "Where's Takumi?"

"That's why I called-" Reira started regrettably.

"Mommy, there's some man asking to speak with you." Satsuki held the house phone up to her parent, interrupting her mother's conversation.

"Wait, here Reira. Let Satsuki talk to brother." Nana told Reira and Satsuki immediately switched phones with her mother, excited to speak with her sibling.

"This is Nana Ichinose speaking." Nana turned her attention to the phone in her hand.

"Yes, Mrs. Ichinose, Mr. Honjo suggested we call you before the agency releases an official statement."

Nana's heart slowed to a stop. She turned her back to her daughter and asked quietly what the doctor meant.

"I know this may be hard to understand now," the doctor was obviously British, and his Japanese was good, but weak. "There were some paparazzi around who knew Trapnest…your husband…" She knew what he was about to say and tears poured down her cheeks, time stopping in its tracks. "There was a car accident; there was nothing we could do. I'm sorry."

Nana held her hand up to her mouth to quiet her sobbing so Satsuki would suspect nothing while she chattered on happily to her brother.

She heard a voice ask to take the phone and suddenly she heard, "Hachiko?"

"Ren." She gasped, making a low cry.

"They made the band identify the body, I'm so sorry." Nana noticed no one had actually said Takumi was dead yet, all in denial.

"I'll be in England by morning." She immediately swore.

Ren said nothing else and hung up the phone. She put her own phone back where it should be shakily, and Satsuki handed the cell phone back to her mom.

"Reira wants to talk to you." She simply stated and skipped into her room, her day brightened by speaking with her brother.

"Thank you Satsuki." Nana had smiled at her daughter weakly, and watched her go, then pressed the phone to her ear. "Does my son know?"

"Not yet. You should be the one to tell him. That is, if you feel you can."

Nana suddenly remembered Reira was in love with Takumi too and whimpered, "What are we going to do without him?"

Reira was silent while Nana broke down. "I'll be there tomorrow with Satsuki."

"Maybe you should leave her with that friend of yours, Junko?" Reira finally spoke again.

"Then she'll know something's wrong." Nana shook her head.

"Well, we'll be waiting. Goodnight Nana." Reira sighed and hung up, leaving Nana alone. Nana came to her senses and went to grab her coat and put on her shoes, and called Satsuki to do the same.

"Where are we going?" Satsuki asked curiously, pulling on her shoes, her toy bunny beside her.

"To Jun's for the night, and then we'll go straight to the airport to England."

"So we get to see Daddy!" Satsuki grinned and Nana's heart faltered. She didn't reply and pulled Satsuki out the door. She locked the door, not wanting to see anything that reminded her of Takumi, even though the little girl she was holding hands with looked exactly like him. They left Shirogane in a cab and her phone beeped with an email. She looked and saw Ren had gotten her and Satsuki first-class tickets for the next plane to England in a few hours.

She silently thanked him for doing so in such a short amount of time; if she had to get the tickets herself she would have fallen apart. She was only keeping it together for Satsuki.

It wasn't Junko who opened the door though, it was Shoji. So he was visiting old friends tonight as well. They were both stunned into silence, it had been years.

"Nana, what's up?" he looked at her, and the down at Satsuki. "Is this your little princess? She looks exactly like him!" Nana's eyes welled up with tears and she at that moment no longer cared who it was, but she needed someone to hold her up now. So she fell into his arms, weeping.

"Shoji-' Kyosuke came to the door and saw Satsuki watching her mother cry and hug some strange man.

"Satsuki? Did you have dinner yet? Come on, I'll make you something." And Satsuki skipped inside, taking Kyosuke's hand and disappearing from sight.

The exes stood there in the light of the doorway and Shoji asked what had happened.

"Takumi- Takumi is- Shoji, Takumi…Takumi." She clutched his shirt tighter.

"Did he do anything to hurt you? Did you guys get in a fight or something?"

She shook her head and sobbed. "He's gone. Takumi's gone and he's never coming back!"

Shoji understood then and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind him, so no one would pass by and see. "Jun!" he called. Junko appeared and gasped, "Oh god, what happened?" she went forward to Nana, who left Shoji's embrace and clung to Jun's instead, weeping with all her soul.

"I'll be going now ...Sachiko is expecting me. I'm so sorry for your loss Nana." And then Shoji was gone from her life once more.

"Alright, what happened?"

"Takumi-"

"Did that jerk do something? Why don't you two just get a divorce?"

"Because I'm a widow!" Nana snapped her head up, her face stained with tears. Junko was stunned into silence, unable to reply. "I need to get on a plane with Satsuki in a few hours to England to sort things out before…before we bring him home for the last time." She gulped.

"We'll put Satsuki to bed so she'll be better rested at the airport as soon as she's finished eating whatever Kyosuke gave her."

"Both of the kids have no idea. Little Ren may have some, but…" she sunk to the floor and buried her face in her hands, her engagement and wedding rings clearly visible."This will destroy them, they love their daddy more than anyone!" she sobbed hysterically to herself.

Junko knelt down with her. "I'm sure you're not giving them enough credit. Both of them are incredibly strong for their age."

"I don't even know how long we'll be in England for." Nana muttered.

"Contact Shirogane's front desk and tell the concierge that I'll be going over there to pack luggage for you and your daughter." Nana nodded wordlessly, and Junko grabbed her coat, Nana still unable to move.

"II loved him Jun…even through everything." She looked straight ahead at the wall as she said this.

Jun frowned sadly. "I know sweetie. I know you did. I'll put Satsuki to bed, and get going."

Nana did not respond and she sat there wordlessly, staring at the wall. Only when she heard her daughter's excited and tired voice ring out from down the hall ring out she came to her senses. She wiped at her eyes and stood shakily, taking large gulps of air to calm herself. She pulled out her cell phone and called the building she had just left.

"Shirogane front desk, good evening, how may I help you?"

"Yes it's Nana Ichinose from room-"

"Ah yes, yes. Of course madam. " he interrupted.

"I have a friend coming over there to grab me some things from the apartment for me. Could you let her through?"

"If she had the key, I'll let her go right on in." he promised. She thanked him and hung up the phone in time for Jun to reappear. Nana handed her friend her house keys.

"I'll pack enough for 3-4 days, just in case. I'll be back soon." Jun then walked outside, hailed a cab, and was gone. She really was like a mother to Nana. That reminded Nana that she tell her family, but she simply didn't have the strength to that night. She stumbled into the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table in a daze.

"You should get some sleep too." Kyosuke said as he put two coffees down on the round table, and sat down across from her. Nana wrapped her hands around the warm cup, staring down into the brown liquid, but only feeling cold.

"I can't sleep. Not even if I tried." She looked up and saw the stuffed bunny on the table as well. So Satsuki had brought it with her after all. Nana closed her eyes, suddenly picturing that night all those years ago that Takumi had come home, and lay down sadly on their bed, holding that bunny close to him like an innocent little child. She blew out a ragged sigh; everything reminded her of him. She wished the other Nana was around. Even if her best friend hadn't liked that Nana had picked a womanizer over Nobou and herself, she would still have been there for her friend. That's what best friends do. The only problem was Nana had just left one day and had been missing since then, and why, no one knew. That was why she remained in Tokyo, and hadn't gone to England with Takumi, because she was waiting for Nana to return. Takumi had been searching for Nana Osaki like crazy, because he knew that once he did, his wife would finally come to stay with him. Nana closed her eyes as tears threatened to spill over and let her head hang down, her shoulders sagging.

"Nana-"

She ignored Kyosuke, weeping. Nana got up, taking the bunny along with her over to the couch in the other room, lay down, and broke into gut wrenching sobs holding the stuffed toy in a choking hold to her chest. Kyosuke watched in sadness and knew it was useless to try to calm her down. She had a right to break down like this, since she truly loved her husband with all her heart. Nana had wanted so badly for her marriage to work, not just for the kids, but also for herself. She hugged the toy as if it were her lifeline, her connection to her husband, and kept uttering that one name over and over to herself. Kyosuke went over to her, knelt down beside the couch, and smoothed her hair. Poor girl, she felt like she couldn't burden anyone with her grief so she poured it all out on a lifeless object.

"Nana, you'll never lose Junko or me, I promise." It didn't seem as though she could hear him, her senses shut off to the rest of the world, so it would only be her own world that shattered. And she remained like that until Jun returned. Nana had actually fallen asleep in her hysterics, but the sad thing was that the tears kept coming, and she muttered Takumi's name all too often with a sound of strangled pain.

Jun looked down at her widowed friend sadly, and set the luggage down at the end of the sofa. "Set the alarm for 2. She has a flight at 4 am." Nana had indeed told Jun this before Jun had left to go to Shirogane.

"This really sucks." Kyosuke admitted as he headed to their bedroom, while Jun put a blanket over the now single mother before following her own husband to bed. The alarm rang all too soon, and Junko groaned getting out of bed. She already knew the depressed woman in their living room wouldn't want to get up. She roused Kyosuke who went to brew the coffee and she headed to the living room.

"Nana, you have to get up. You have a plane to catch." She shook her friend. Nana moaned, and turned away from Junko. Getting on that plane meant accepting what had happened.

"This is just a bad dream." Nana murmured to herself desperately. "You'll wake up and Takumi will phone you like he does every week." Junko watched Nana, knowing that her friend's life had fallen apart before her very eyes in less than 6 hours.

"Nana, you can't let this destroy you! You have two children to look after! You're a mom, so act like it! You have to grow up!" Nana opened her eyes and sat up slowly. Without a word, she stood; taking the clothes Jun had laid out for her and went into the bathroom to change.

Nana managed to fix her appearance and drink her coffee robotically, as if unaware of her actions, simply following routine. After making her face look fresh and normal, she went into the guestroom where Satsuki was sleeping. "Hey baby." She whispered sadly when Satsuki opened her eyes. "We have to get on the plane soon."

Satsuki's face lit up through her exhausted expression, breaking her mother's heart. Nana helped her child get ready and by 2:30, they were all piled into Kyosuke's car heading to the airport.

"Brother Ren…" Satsuki trailed off, yawning. She never saw her sibling; she thought this was a fun visit.

"I'll wake you up once we get there, you can sleep now." Nana promised her little one, pressing a kiss to Satsuki's forehead. The young girl nodded drowsily and lay her head down on her mom's lap. Nana looked out the window, petting her daughter's long raven hair absentmindedly.

"Are you sure you don't need us to come in with you?" Kyosuke asked as Nana got out of the car, holding her daughter so Satsuki wouldn't wake yet.

"No. There's only one average luggage, and it's carry-on anyway. We're flying first class too, so we'll get to the gate relatively quickly.

"What about the paparazzi?" Junko asked, an eyebrow raised with concern.

"I'm not famous, Takumi is…" Nana paused, realizing she'd used the present tense, and how much it stung. "I'll call you if I need anything." She finished instead.

Jun frowned. "We love you Nana, be strong." Nana blinked back tears. For a woman who wanted love so badly, it was either in front of her all along in her friends and family, or she never got it. Shoji cheated, things with Nobu fell apart, and now even Takumi was out of reach. She managed to carry the luggage in one hand and the sleeping Satsuki in the other, and went through security easily. When she finally got to the gate she sat down and relaxed.

Satsuki had to be awake for the security, so she was walking beside her mother, hands held tightly so they wouldn't end up separated. All too soon, boarding began for the flight, and Nana swore she heard at least a handful of people whispering about her behind her back.

"Isn't that Takumi's wife and daughter?"

"It's the bassist's family! You know, the hot one from Trapnest? I always manage to forget his name though,"

"Their daughter looks exactly like him!"

Nana was almost frozen to that spot, but was tugged along by a tiny girl who referred to her as her mommy. Satsuki was just so excited to see the boys in the family; all she wanted was for her family to be together. They settled into their seats, Satsuki immediately falling back asleep, the toy bunny in her hand like always, while Nana stared out the window into the black night sky, seeing her reflection in the glass, and wanting no more than for the past 8 hours to be make-believe.

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**A/N: First chapter of my new three-shot! I thought this up when on a forum about Takumi from NANA they said everything in the story would have worked out if Takumi had just died...and yeah O.o**

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	2. Inevitable Truth

"Welcome to London, England. Thank you for flying with us, and we hope to see you again soon. The local time is…" the pilot droned on over the announcer. Satsuki was wide awake now, despite the time zone being about 5 in the morning. Nana grabbed the luggage and took Satsuki by the hand who dragged her old bunny behind her happily. They went through customs and by the time they got out of the airport, Nana was stuck. Did she call a taxi? Rent a car?

"Hachiko!" she heard in Japanese, and before she could track down the direction from where the voice was coming from, Satsuki shouted, "Uncle Ren!" and she let go of her mother to jump into Ren Honjo's arms. He lifted her up, and she clung to him, laughing along with him. "Hey kiddo. You've grown up a lot." He grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling, and her bunny still in her grip.

"Ren." Nana breathed out with relief and walked over to him. He adjusted how he was holding Satsuki and asked Nana seriously about how the flight was, which clearly meant if she was okay or not. "Why did you come?"

"Well, I had to pick you up- I'm the one who got the tickets. I knew when the plane was going to land." He shrugged, as if it explained everything, which it actually did.

"Where are we going?" Nana asked, hesitant, following Ren to the parking lot.

"To visit Reira. We have to pick up my mini-me." They walked out to Ren's car, people whispering about them, recognizing them as the Trapnest guitarist and the bassist's family. They ignored the people however, and were soon on their way to a certain apartment. "Reira or Noaki always come over to take care of little Ren at Takumi's place." Ren told Nana softly as he drove. So that meant they were going to…Nana did nothing, and turned mute completely.

Ren led the way once they got to the complex, and the second they walked into that apartment, pain slammed into Nana's gut hard. His scent was everywhere and it assaulted her without question.

"Daddy's back!" a little boy's hopeful voice called out, running into the room.

"Brother!" Satsuki cried out happily, and ran to hug him tightly. Her brother hugged her back, but looked up at his mother almost disappointed, as if he knew his father wouldn't show. Just by his facial expression, Nana knew her son didn't want to return home to Japan.

"Ren, where'd you run off to?" a woman's high voice called out, hurrying into the front room, her shoes clacking on the wooden floor. The second she saw Ren and Nana standing just inside the apartment with the two children in front of them, she completely halted. "Nana." She breathed, almost hindered by her unannounced appearance. Nana simply walked past her and went around the place in a trance, picturing Takumi everywhere she walked, as if he was right there in front of her. She'd saved the bedroom for last, and with good reason. He'd been in that bed a little over a day ago. On top of the dresser were quite a few photos in frames. Takumi with his mother and sister, with Nana, with Trapnest as children, with the band as adults, and pictures of both of the kids. There was one family portrait, taken when the second child had been born. It was the four of them- Takumi, Satsuki, Ren, and herself, and Nana almost cried. She remembered handing him that photo, in that exact frame, telling him to take care and call her every day when he had to leave for England. She went back into the foyer where everyone else was still standing, saddened.

"Why is she here?" she heard her son asking Reira in confusion.

"To tell you the truth…" Reira started while Nana narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the other woman. Was she trying to be a mother to her baby? She marched over to where Reira held little Ren in her arms, took him from the singer, causing him to call out desperately for his guitar.

"Already got it lil' buddy." The older Ren held up the object inside its case. The smaller one of the Ren's who resembled Nana held on tightly to his mom, and Nana cradled him in her arms, swearing she could feel her son trembling in her arms. As if he wanted to cry, but was holding it back. She wondered if he had some idea of why she had come to retrieve her. He should have put up some kind of fight in a normal circumstance; he never wanted to leave England. Sometimes children were smarter than they seemed. He just sensed what was happening, and Nana couldn't help but frown at the thought of her little Einstein guitarist being in as much pain as her. While Ren drove to the hospital, Nana sat in the back with the kids. The family was as reunited as it could ever be now; Satsuki's dream would never be fulfilled.

The second they got up to the floor in the hospital where Takumi was supposed to be, Noaki appeared. "Hey Hachiko." He said sadly, and both children looked up in him wonder, never seeing the Trapnest drummer in such a state of dejection before. He looked down and saw the kids, and suddenly his entire demeanor changed. "Hey cuties! Want to play with Uncle Noaki for a while?" he knelt down, each of his hands on top of the kids' heads.

"Don't mess up my hair!" squealed Satsuki, giggling.

"Hey dummy, don't hurt my sister!" little Ren's balled up into fists and he furrowed his brow at Noaki, who laughed wholeheartedly for the first time all day, even though if Nana looked at him, he seemed on the verge of tears.

"C'mon, I'll take you to the room now." Ren Honjo huffed and walked through the doors into the hall where the patients were located, Nana followed him like a lost, nervous puppy. Did they even put Takumi on life support? Was he pronounced dead on site? Ren paused and she unintentionally walked right into his back, not paying attention. "Do you want me to come in with you?" Ren turned to face her, serious. He was like a sad, protective older brother. Did she want him there? Would she want to be alone? What if she needed support? She managed a silent nod and he opened the door, letting Nana enter the pristine, white, bare room before following himself, allowing the door to swing shut behind him.

Immediately, she saw the figure hidden under the giant blanket, and robotically went forward, her hand outstretched, as if she expected Takumi to reach up and take it in his. The first thing she noticed was his hands. She had hoped that it all been a mistake or an extreme practical joke, but looking at his hands, all those dreams had been crushed. Not only like a true guitar player, since bass was a guitar, had he protected his hands in the crash, but the wedding band on his hand made it obvious. There was no doubt in her mind that that gold ring was the one she herself had slid on his finger all those years ago. She took that hand in hers, the coldness and lack of response made her heart pound as if she were dying too. Of course, she wasn't. Jun was right, she was a mother now, and she couldn't abandon her children for anything in the world. Her other hand shaking, she reached up to pull the sheet down to look at her husband's face.

But then Ren's hand was there, stopping her. "He wouldn't want you to remember him looking like this."

Nana's eyes welled up with tears. "No," she put out, rasping, "He wouldn't want you speaking for him." Ren knew she had a point, and stepped back, letting her have her space to grieve. Nana pulled the white sheet down to reveal the upper half of his body, and just seeing all the extensive damage done to him made her sob. It was all true. There was no escape; it was not a nightmare. She held onto the cold hand tighter, her wedding band clanking against his, and she put her head down on his chest, breaking into wracking sobs standing still- bent over.

"Takumi, you idiot. Why it have to be you? The kids don't have their dad anymore, I don't have you anymore. I loved you so much! Wake up!" she shook him but he didn't show any signs of life. "Why did I ever even think of divorce? I could never desert you, so don't you do this to me now! You have responsibilities!" she sobbed even harder.

"Hachi-" Ren stepped forward, but Nana didn't hear him in her hysteria. She pressed her lips to Takumi's dead ones fiercely, as if he would awaken from a magic spell if she did so, but when she saw he didn't, something snapped inside her, and she kept kissing him, her tears falling onto Takumi's peaceful and frozen face. "Hachiko, Hachiko stop!" Ren pulled her off of the body and crushed her to him in a bone-breaking hug. She sobbed into his shirt and clutched at him, wrapping her arms around him, her fingers digging into his back with her hands searching so desperately for a lifeline to hang on to. "He's dead, nothing anyone does will change that Hachiko." He told her and she lost herself completely, succumbing to the hurt and grief.

Takumi was her partner in everything. He understood her like no one else; he was her safe harbor where she could always go if she was stranded- even after the estrangement. It worked the same for him. If he hadn't loved her as much as he did, he would never have come back to her every time, and he wouldn't have done all the things he had for her. It was the second time since she'd moved to Tokyo that she wanted to throw herself off a bridge. She didn't have Nana Osaki to save her this time, but she did have Ren, and that was as close as she was going to get.

"The demon lord always comes after me! How unfair is that? I never have any luck." She sobbed, and Ren held her closer, being the older brother he was to her. All he could picture was the day Takumi had said he'd have no problem going to hell and dragging everyone down with him, so long as Hachiko and the kids lived on happily. Takumi would have done anything for the woman Ren was holding just then. He'd have flown around the entire world to get to his wife if she wanted to see him. Takumi had even been frantically searching for Nana Osaki so he could make his wife happy and so Satsuki's dream of her family living together would be fulfilled. Ren closed his eyes. Poor kids. Their dad was like their idol. Especially to little Satsuki, who rarely saw him, but loved him all the more.

"I'm sure Yasu's already gotten a hold of the will. We should plan the wake soon." Ren thought aloud.

"I don't want to." Nana murmured into his shirt. Ren sighed, and pulled away, leaving his arm around her, and led her out of the room, guiding her. They got back out into the waiting room, and Nana was trying to cover up her tears for the children.

"Mommy?" little Ren asked softly, and both kids along with Noaki looked up at the older Ren and Nana a few feet away.

"Mommy, don't cry!" Satsuki cried and ran to her mom, her brother right behind her. Nana knelt down and both kids hugged her tightly, trying to comfort her. "Mommy, you can't cry! You're too pretty to cry! Crying makes you ugly!" Satsuki declared, and Nana made a sobbing sort of laugh.

"Daddy's gonna be mad. He's gonna beat up whoever made you cry!" Ren glared up at his namesake as he said this, and the older Ren looked away nervously.

**Nana** pulled back, looking at her babies confused and upset faces. She couldn't be one of those parents who wouldn't let their kids go to funerals because they were sheltering them from death and tragedy. It was a part of life, but she didn't want to tell them even still. They were so young and innocent, plus they believed their father to be the most invincible man alive. What scarring would telling them cause?

Noaki and the older Ren watched to see what she'd tell them and finally she took a deep breath and whispered gently, "Daddy went to see the angels." She held her breath internally, to see what the kids reactions would be.

Her son seemed to know this already, but knowing that he had heard the truth, he ran to his namesake and began to cry loudly. "Who bullied my daddy? Who?" he wailed, and the older Ren picked him up, holding him close.

"Shhh." He soothed, rubbing the little one's back. "Do you want to play guitar? That always cheered me up when I felt down." The little one nodded, and Ren walked out with him, going to retrieve the little guitar from his car.

Meanwhile Satsuki had just been staring up at her tearful mother, clueless and innocent. "He went to visit the angels and didn't take me with him? He'll be back soon and tell me all about it, right?" Nana sobbed and threw her arms around her daughter then. "Mommy, you're crushing me!" Satsuki squealed. Nana had no idea if Takumi went to heaven or hell; however, Nana felt that he had gone to the better of the two, since she knew Takumi and being himself with her and the children, he had proved to her that he deserved a good afterlife. Nana couldn't exactly say that Daddy wasn't coming back, so she said nothing instead, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to tell the truth as well.

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	3. Finding Peace

"The will leaves everything to you, so that makes it pretty easy. I thought he'd give something to Reira or his sister at the very least but…" Yasu trailed off from beside her.

Nana sighed from the middle seat. "I'm sorry Yasu. I made you get the will faxed over to England and then you came over yourself, only to get on a plane back hours later."

Yasu looked at the widow before putting his hand of her head and saying, "You need to be protected. Everyone can't help but want to shelter you, even now. Plus, Ren and Noaki aren't exactly…" Nana looked backwards at the row behind them. Ren was directly behind her, both kids on either side, leaning on him. The trio was fast asleep. Even noisy Noaki, in the seat beside Reira across the aisle, was fast asleep. Yasu was definitely the kind of guy she needed to lean on right now, he was just more mature and professional.

"I think Ren's great with the kids though. They love him." Nana smile thoughtfully, before turning back to look at the copy of Takumi's will in Yasu's hands. He had great connections, to get the will from Takumi's representative or the bank or whatever, without Nana calling to say it was permitted…That or they just didn't dare cross the scary-looking bald man. The first class cabin was quiet, empty except for Trapnest and the crew. Everyone was solemn; the only oblivious one was Satsuki. Her brother was too protective and sheltering to tell her truth, not wanting to make her cry. And with good reason everyone was serious. In the storage somewhere beneath their feet, in a casket, was someone who had connected them all.

Trapnest never would have existed if not for Takumi. Reira wouldn't have sang, Noaki would never have discovered his talent, Ren wouldn't have left Nana O. in the first place, Yasu would probably be a successful lawyer with Reira by his side, and Nana herself would have been able to remain with Nobo…No wait, that was wrong. She would have never had to room with Nana O. so she wouldn't have even met any of them to be completely honest. She'd be married to Shoji about now instead, she realized if she had fought for him against Sachiko he would have chosen her. Funny, how just one fickle, selfish man could be the source of everything for so many people.

"Well, Ren's a kid at heart, so it makes sense." Yasu shrugged. "Alright, for funeral arrangements, Takumi had everything planned out, being who he was and all-" Yasu was shuffling through the papers and suddenly froze.

"Yasu? Is everything okay? What does it say?" Nana peered over and read for his burial site wishes that…he wanted to be buried by his mother…or if…his wife…was already dead, he'd want to share a grave with his Nana. Even in death, he was still possessive. Nana sat back.

"He really loved you. To share an eternity with you and your bones?" Nana began to cry once more and Yasu tensed.

"What a selfish jerk! Always making these decisions without letting me know!"

"So you wouldn't want to share-'

"Of course I would! I love him more than any other man out there!"

Yasu smiled at the pure innocence in her eyes. "I never dreamt that in a thousand years that Takumi would end up with the perfect life. Perfect wife, kids, and home. He had it all."

"He still cheated." Nana peeked over at Reira for a second, who was sinking lower and lower into her seat, guilty.

"Still, he always came back. He married you when it made sense to run in the opposite direction. He raised your children, he never lied to you, and he told you over and over that you were the only woman he truly loved didn't he?"

"That's true." Nana reflected, looking down at the papers. "We should plan the funeral now, it's too much to deal with, and I want this to be over as soon as possible."

"He had all the details down. You don't have to do a thing, I'll have everything arranged by tomorrow morning. You can just relax and focus on the kids on yourself for a day."

"Thanks Yasu. What would we all do without you?" Nana whispered, small tears falling onto her lap. Just the memories were painful. Why did it have to hurt this much? It sucked! She'd never felt weaker than she did now. She was only 27 for crying out loud! And she already knew she didn't want to remarry. Takumi would have pissed if he did, he was so possessive. And if the roles had been reversed, she wouldn't have wanted him to remarry either, she was just that selfish.

Yasu watched her, wanting to kill Takumi, if only he wasn't already dead. He knew he should punch out the paparazzi that had been responsible for this accident, and if he ever found them, he would.

Nana was able to relax and get the kids settled in back home in Shirogane while Yasu fixed everything, just like he said he would. But still, some things were unavoidable. Nana had put on black clothes, and did the same for her children, then grabbed a cab to take them to the wake. Satsuki was still clueless, asking her family what had happened, but no one answered her.

The wake went as any wake should. Family were together to greet mourners and everyone was crying. Takumi's sister was there beside Nana in hysterics, her husband trying to soothe her while their child sat next to their cousins, old enough to understand that Uncle Takumi was dead. Takumi's father didn't show up, which was probably for the better. Nana didn't need that level of stress caused by the drunk making everything worse. Nana's own family came, and they all hugged her and said appropriate things, besides Nami, who seemed more upset about Trapnest breaking up for a moment, before letting her older sister cry on her tanned shoulder.

All sorts of people came, a lot of them Nana had never even met. But people from his hometown, parents to all of his old friends like Yasu and Reira and Noaki came. Luckily, it seemed as though none of the women he'd had affairs with showed. If they had…it wouldn't have been a good meeting.

The wake was open-casket, and people would go up, say something and back away to let someone else have their turn. Nana waited until everyone had gone up, so she could stand up there as long as she wanted, and went up with the children. She whispered to her husband, even though he couldn't hear her, "We're going to miss you a lot. I love you Takumi." She planted one final kiss to her husband's lips and little Ren whispered blinking back tears, "Love you Daddy. I'll learn to play bass just for you." Nana held him up so he could touch his father's hand one last time, and once Nana put him down, he ran off to the closest familiar person, who happened to be Reira. "I'll play bass for you, so you won't stop singing!" Some things never change, not even through the next generation.

Satsuki whispered she loved her dad too, and that the angels better bring him back soon, so he could tell her all about it, obviously too young to accept what was right in front of her. The older Ren came up behind the girls and scooped his goddaughter up into his arms which made her laugh. Nana even cracked a small smile. Making Ren the godfather of her children had been one of the wisest decisions she'd ever made. He'd always wanted a little family, and since his girl was missing, he couldn't exactly have his own right now. Now he had his family, as Nana figured Ren would become the father figure for the kids. The funeral was harder to get through.

People would say things about Takumi, sharing memories about the good times and whatnot. "Takumi was a punk growing up, but he was always responsible and mature. He gave up everything to make music, to make the people he loved happy. Of course, I never dreamed that he would turn out so good, but I think that's because he had people surrounding him who accepted him for who he was. He got so lucky, having such a beautiful wife and his children, and having the talent and friends he did too." Yasu had said. The speech went on longer than that, but everyone seemed to have a lengthy speech about how great Takumi Ichinose really was, which was fine with Nana, it gave her more time to think about what she going to do once she got up there. After Ren sat down Nana stood, took a deep breath, smoothed the creases in her dress, clutched the speech in her hand, and walked up to the podium. Junko watched her go, praying Nana would stand strong for the rest of the service.

Nana adjusted the microphone, smoothed out the speech and began to read, "Takumi Ichinose was the perfect man to me, despite all his flaws-" she gulped, suddenly unable to continue due to the overwhelming amount of faces in the crowd that choked her. Each of them had known him. Grief threatened to drown her and she kept trying to keep her head above water. "He…he…" she couldn't do it. She was about to break down again. The children were watching. She couldn't let them see.

She crumpled up the speech in one hand, shocking everyone, and began again. "I spent the past three days agonizing over what to say once I got up here in front of all of you. Trying to create the perfect thing to say when there's nothing. Because it doesn't change what happened, because you all knew and loved him too. The past five days have been the biggest hell I've ever gone through, and it's all because of some paparazzi! That's not fair at all! Takumi wasn't perfect, he did a lot of things in fact that most women would have left him for a long time ago. But I never divorced him, because despite everything he did to hurt me, I loved him and I know he loved me back. We understood each other, like no one else, and I don't know how I'm going to live without him. Now I'm a widow, and my children are fatherless…" she began to cry, and lost the ability to speak completely. Then, Ren and Nobo were there to guide her back to her seat. It was silent for a moment, the only sound being Nana's sobs, and everyone was somber. There were more words, and then everyone filed out of the building into their cars for the funeral procession to the cemetery. Nana stood of the steps of the church, crying into her handkerchief, trying to muffle her sobs. Yasu, Reira, and Noaki had whisked the kids off into a car with them, knowing Nana was unable to take care of them at the moment, while Ren stayed with her.

"Hachiko, it's almost over, I promise."

"I want Nana!" the widow wailed suddenly for her best friend. Nana would have no idea of what had happened until tomorrow when the story hit the stands. She figured that maybe Nana would come back for her friend once she realized the widow would need her support.

"Ren, you join the rest of your band. We'll take it from here." A young man announced, wrapping an arms around Nana's slumped shoulders. Ren nodded and headed off, while Nana wiped at her eyes furiously.

"Nana, you don't have to cover it up because of me." Nobu smiled at her sadly.

"I'm not!" she protested. "I'm just sick of crying."

"Hachi-" Shin frowned, and Nana threw her arms around the 21 year old.

"Oh Shin! I know he was like a father to you, I'm so sorry!" she cried, while Shin rubbed her back in circle to soothe her.

"Let's get in the car, we'll talk about it on the way." He told her, and she complied. With the two members of Blast with her, she calmed down, and got mentally prepared for the burial. It went on as any other burial service ever, and Nana spotted Takumi's mother's grave nearby. His wish was being fulfilled.

Only when the casket was being lowered into the ground and was having dirt shoveled on top of it did Satsuki finally seem to catch on to what to was going on. Her eyes went wide with fear and realization, and then to her mother she cried out, "Mommy, make them stop! Daddy can't breathe down there! Mommy, why are you letting them hurt him? Make it stop! He still has work to do!" she wailed, and Nana sobbed, picking the young girl up and holding her close. Everyone seemed incredibly torn apart by the little one's words and suddenly everyone seemed to be crying.

After the service, after everyone had gone home, Nana stayed behind, not wanting to head over to the hotel where she and all of her friends were staying overnight, not wanting to catch a train this late at night. She knelt down and saw a little stuffed bunny there beside all the flowers, knowing Satsuki had left it there for her daddy. Nana picked it up and gripped it tightly with one hand to bring it home with her, knowing Satsuki would never be able to go to sleep without holding that bunny in her arms, even though Satsuki had left it here. And then with her left hand she traced her fingers over the engravings on the slab of marble poking out of the ground, letting silent tears escape, and then felt the smooth part of the tombstone below Takumi's engravings, knowing that when she died, that part of the rock would be engraved her with name. She stood with an audible sigh. But until then, she had wonderful people to surround and take care of her. And well, their love was all she really needed to survive, wasn't it?

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**A/N: I did a shoutout to FMA there with Satsuki at the burial haha. :)**

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